6 Simple Ways Teachers Support Students Each Day

It’s no secret that teachers can do amazing things. Some teachers create incredible lessons that have far-reaching and long-lasting impacts on students and the larger community. Others speak at conferences and write books, inspiring millions. We hear about teachers who become administrators, bringing their expertise and love of the profession to greater numbers of students each year.

What we hear about less often, however, are the day-to-day, common things that teachers do that seem, at first glance, to be no big deal. I’ve had the pleasure of being immersed in the world of K-8 education for 20 years. (I discuss some of my classroom experiences here.) During this time, I have witnessed the profound impact of these “little” things on the wellbeing of students. Here are some things I’ve noticed teachers do regularly.

Greet students

This is a common practice, and you can probably find it in almost every book about classroom culture, almost every article about preparing for the school year. There’s a reason it’s so prevalent. It’s easy to do, and it sets the tone for the day — the students matter, and the teacher is happy to see them. While not every teacher can be at the door each day, this Edutopia article illustrates how powerful greeting students at the door can be.

Start each day fresh

Even the most well managed, respectful, positive classroom can have a bad day. When twenty or thirty different personalities are squeezed into the same room for 6 hours each day, difficulties are bound to crop up from time to time. When teachers begin each day anew, without baggage from the day before, it is a small reminder to students that they are in a safe space. They know that their off days won’t negatively affect future days.

Group students thoughtfully

When I was teaching, I used to change the seating chart regularly, as I noticed things that were and weren’t working. Two students may have needed to be separated because they were disruptive together. I may have moved a student who needed more support next to a helpful, kind student who I knew would provide that support. There are also multiple times during the school day when students work in pairs or groups. Educators put a lot of time and care into these groupings. Sometimes it’s better to have students who are all reading at the same pace together, and sometimes it’s better to mix things up. It’s a real skill, and often overlooked, to know how to group students for different purposes in the classroom.

Teacher with groups of students at desks
Groupings can change multiple times a day, depending on what’s going on in the classroom! (Photo by Kenny Eliason on Unsplash)

Have a routine

Daily routines are incredibly important for children. Knowing what to expect each day helps students feel safe and prepared (see this article for more).

Share a bit of themselves

Students need to know their teachers are human. Knowing their teachers as whole people allows students to feel comfortable asking for help or opening up about difficult things. When teachers talk about times when they’ve persevered through a challenge or worked through their own mistakes, students are given implicit permission to take risks and make mistakes as well. Find more about sharing (but not getting too personal!) here.

Be there

Probably the most simple thing of all, being there is also one of the most important things teachers do. When students know they can expect their teacher to be there each day, their sense of security and trust increases. When students can trust their teacher and feel safe coming to school, they are more ready to learn. (Of course, it’s also important to take days off when you need them! Everyone needs time away now and then.)

There are many more ways that teachers positively impact the lives of our children each day. It’s hard to pick them all out because most of them are super subtle — but they’re there!

If you have a teacher in your life, find time to thank them for all the little things they do. You never know how much they may need to hear it!

And, finally, to all the educators in my life, you are amazing and I appreciate you!

5 Parenting Strategies Highlighted During the Pandemic

Though I wrote this original post when we were still in the midst of the pandemic, I believe that we can now read it as a “lessons learned” piece. The five tips toward the end of the article are things that we should still be doing. All the time. Let me know what you think in the comments! What pandemic-era lessons have carried through for you?


In March 2020 — Friday the 13th, I’m pretty sure, actually — when I went to pick up my kids from school, I had no idea that would be the last time I would do that for about a year. I’m on the verge of tears even writing that. I had no idea that our interactions with loved ones would be so limited and strange for so long. I had no idea the wild emotional ride we were about to begin.

Kids all over the world were jolted out of what was normal and plunged into this weird, isolated, anxiety-filled environment. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or other caregiver, I know you can probably relate to all of the things I’m about to say about how the pandemic has affected kids.

And, whether things are opening back up where you live or not, things won’t be “normal” for a long time. In this post, I may be stating a lot of obvious things, but my hope is that it will help us to feel connected and not so alone. I also hope to provide a few strategies for helping kids persevere through this challenging time, some of which includes strengthening their social and emotional competencies.

Continue reading “5 Parenting Strategies Highlighted During the Pandemic”

When Your Nice Kid Befriends the “Mean Girl”

A friend of mine recently posted something on Facebook that made me feel pretty anxious and reminded me that there are some rocky roads ahead. She has a nice, kind daughter, and the little girl has decided that she wants to be friends with the resident “mean girl.”

My first reaction to that is, “Oh heck no! Find a way to discourage that!” But as I sat with the issue a bit, I rethought that position. Continue reading “When Your Nice Kid Befriends the “Mean Girl””

How I’m Reforming My Play-Hating Ways

I love interacting with my son.

I love talking to him—he’s so funny and creative, conversations are usually pretty interesting.

I love reading to him—he is a very enthusiastic book lover, and that gives me an insane amount of joy.

I love snuggling with him—we snuggle every morning, and it always starts the day off right.

I love watching him draw—he has this crazy innate talent (and love for it) that I can only assume was a recessive gene from his grandmothers, because neither Josh nor I have much in the way of artistic ability!

Z drawing a train
The kid loves to draw!

Continue reading “How I’m Reforming My Play-Hating Ways”

Hiding Negative Emotions to Protect Children

This morning I broke down. I was feeling really lousy about something and I just couldn’t keep my emotions at bay. When my husband asked what I was thinking about as I stared off into space, I promptly began sobbing and the floodgates were open.

Then my son came back to the table, book in hand, asking me to read to him while he ate his breakfast. Avoiding eye contact with him, I quickly wiped my tears away and began reading with as controlled a voice as I could muster. Z was none the wiser.

I felt good, because I was able to keep our morning going smoothly and he didn’t have to deal with a sobbing mama and the potential awkwardness that might bring along with it.

Then I checked my Twitter feed and saw an article by Six Seconds, basically saying that we need to talk about feelings with our kids in order to develop their sense of empathy. While the focus of the article is mainly on simple activities you can do to help children be aware of their own emotions, the point was driven home: I have to be more open about how I’m feeling if I want Z to be able to recognize and empathize with others’ emotions.

As I did more research, I found some other great reasons to stop shielding my son from my negative feelings.

Continue reading “Hiding Negative Emotions to Protect Children”

How to Encourage Sharing without Forcing It

What is our responsibility as parents when we see another child asking our child for the toy he’s playing with? Do we attempt to force sharing? Do we let them work it out on their own? What will be best in the long run? Is there a right way to go on this?

I’ve seen plenty of defiantly-worded blog posts about why parents don’t make their kids share. While I can understand where they are coming from in a way, I am not fully convinced that we should not at least encourage our children to share. It seems like a fundamental life skill. I’m honestly still sort of on the fence about how hard we should push for sharing, so I think it’s worth exploring.

Continue reading “How to Encourage Sharing without Forcing It”

Fostering vs. Forcing: Elementary Apologies

I’m currently exploring the issue of that thin line between fostering kind behavior and forcing it on our children. As I explained in my previous post about preschool apologies, I get frustrated by the inauthenticity that accompanies forced apologies. This is something that I experience in my daily life as the mom of a preschooler, but it’s also something I struggled with as second- and sixth-grade teacher.

In this post, I’ll be sharing my experiences with the issue in an elementary school setting, and then outlining some strategies for moving away from forcing insincere apologies and toward fostering heartfelt resolutions. If you’re more into the funny/exasperating tales of my little three-year-old tornado, not to worry—there’s plenty more where that came from, just not this week!
Continue reading “Fostering vs. Forcing: Elementary Apologies”

Fostering vs. Forcing: Preschool Apologies

 

“Cole told me that my shirt is an ugly color!!”

“Cole, please tell Malia that you’re sorry.”

“But it IS ugly!”

“That’s not nice, and it hurts Malia’s feelings. Please apologize.”

“Sooooooorrrrry, Malia.”

 

Sound familiar? Yeah. This happens so, so often. It happens at home and it happens in the classroom.

In my experience, preschool-aged children tend to say they’re sorry with one foot out the door, tingling with the excitement to get back to whatever they were doing. They apologize as quickly as possible, with a look like, “Okay? Are you happy? Can I go PLAY?”

In elementary school, a lovely eye-roll or some other show of “sorry-not-sorry” might accompany the forced apology, and then the students return to the activity they were previously engaged in. There is no genuine resolution to the issue, no exploration of how the other child felt, and no follow-up.

In both cases, we usually just make the kids say they’re sorry and go about our business.

Because we’re busy.

Because being told your shirt is an ugly color is really not the end of the world.

Because neither the kids nor you wants a lengthy discussion, anyway.

Because we think it helps the accuser feel heard.

Because we are teaching them to be kind to each other.

Because that’s what we’re supposed to do.

But IS that what we’re supposed to do? Is this REALLY teaching kids how to be kind to each other?

Continue reading “Fostering vs. Forcing: Preschool Apologies”

“In His Cortex”: Tantrums and Self-Awareness

“In His Cortex”? What?

When I was an elementary school teacher, I once attended a staff development meeting about… well, I’m not sure what it was about, to be honest. But the speaker was an incredibly animated man with some quirky presentation habits. It’s probably due to these odd behaviors that I never forgot his presentation. Maybe he did it on purpose!

Anyway, this man talked about what our more challenging students were going through when they were having meltdowns. He described the very front part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, as the place that was shutting down when the students were so emotionally charged. Because the prefrontal cortex deals with self-control, the shutting down of that portion of the brain leads to a shutting down of self-control. His point was, basically, that we needed to be patient with these students and not attempt to reason with them in that moment. Continue reading ““In His Cortex”: Tantrums and Self-Awareness”